| |
THE NEEDS OF MEN -from Robert Lewis
After many years of listening to men talk and working toward an understanding of my own masculinity, I have listed what I believe are the common needs of most men.
First men need a safe place where they know someone understands them and they are not alone. If men feel welcome and understood, they will let their hair down and interact with other men over issues that may have been stuffed in their soul for years.
Second men need a compelling vision of biblical masculinity that they can grasp. Men want to know what God intends for them. This vision will inspire and lift them during moments of challenge in the workplace and community, or when they are facing discouragement in their own heart. The vision will recharge them, but it must be “user friendly” — i.e., the content must make sense in the context of their own life.
Third, men need time to effectively process their manhood. That is why a men’s ministry should be more than a periodic rally. Seminars and rallies are excellent for motivating men but do not provide enough time for processing their masculinity. Men are often cautious and do not move quickly toward a deeper perspective of who they are. Effective ministry to men must allow the opportunity for men to involve themselves with other men through interaction and rubbing shoulders with one another.
Fourth men need practical how-to’s they can use and taste success. The information on personal design, marriage, family, career and so on of men must connect with their day-to-day experience. Can they go out immediately and implement ideas at least at a rudimentary level? If the teaching does not work in real life, men will start ignoring what you tell them.
Fifth men need male cheerleaders. These can be special peers or older mentors who come alongside to listen -and offer encouragement. An older man saying, “You can do it!” can have a profound impact on a younger man.
Sixth, men need a sacred moment where they know they have become not just a man, but a biblical man. Men need a reference point where they know they have crossed over into the promised land of responsible manhood and will stay there and grow. This need can be met through special ceremonies included in men’s ministry.
Finally, men need the church. If the church and its pastors don’t lead men to reclaim a biblical manhood, most men will not pursue it with consistency, camaraderie, celebration, and courage. |
|